Soap is not a condiment
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
