You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
