It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
