Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
whose ass print is on the piano?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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