who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
