break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
