they need to just BURY HIM!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
