Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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