she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize