I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
