You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize