What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
