Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
