i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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