He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
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