Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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