Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
