I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
