We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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