my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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