Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize