he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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