It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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