remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
