I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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