it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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