we have pet lesbian snakes
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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