Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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