HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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