Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
