Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
