Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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