im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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