it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
