She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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