This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
