is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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