whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
