i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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