would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
