i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
