what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
