it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
