I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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