just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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