what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize