u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
