Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
