He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
