well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
