But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
