I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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