Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
