ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
