24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
