I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
