I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
