I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
