Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
