i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Bring me that man meat
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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