I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
