Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
