Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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