True but thats because hes a fetus.
that's an acceptable place to lick
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
