I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
