Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
