I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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