i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
