You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
