remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
